hello everyone and welcome to the get real good love show I am your host Arlene Washburn and it feels

like it's been a long time since I've joined you here on Facebook live and all

the streaming platforms I forget where we're streaming these days but today I want to talk to

you about something really important which is the upcoming dating Sunday now it might seem a little premature it's

only November 30th but remember December is going to go like a snap because we're right we're already

into the holidays and I want you to take advantage of this time to start prepping for the

day for anyone who is still single and using these online dating platforms it's really really important that

you take notes so I have some notes here I don't want to forget anything now if

you don't know what I'm talking about online dating son today is the day the first Sunday in the year

in the new year so 2020 23 I can't believe it's 20 23 already that would

be January 8th because the first Sunday is actually January 1st and I don't foresee anybody going online on

that day so January 8th I believe is going to be the online dating Sunday and so what you

want to do is to start preparing now for that so that you can optimize your online dating profile

and of course what I'm going to mention right now I don't want you to do this until January

online dating profile so that the algorithm can favor you and look at your profile as if it

were a new one right and there's a reason you want to do this there's a ton of

people more like than double the amount of people use online dating platforms on that Sunday so this is why

it's important for you to take advantage of the flow right you gotta get into

flow whenever there's an energy that you can ride ride the energy so a couple of things now yesterday I

had a Q&A session for our monthly love experts Q&A or experts Q&A in this case

I had a couple of photographers that were answering questions about how to pose and things like that because

this is all leading up to this topic and we'll continue to talk about this over

the next few weeks photography is the number one thing when it comes to online

dating why because online dating is not like you're actually dating online you're actually submitting yourself into the

online catalog catalog of singles and therefore you're marketing yourself and you want to look your best and

it starts with m images so what I want to encourage you to do is

to get rid of all the photos that you have online right now especially if you're

not having success with them then there's a reason take those down especially if they're outdated they don't look like

you etc etc and let's just start a whole fresh a refresh of your profile so the reason I

wanted to talk to you about this now is because a lot of you are going to go to

parties over the holidays you can get dressed up you're going to get your are done and if you're a

woman maybe put some makeup on Etc and so it's a great time to be taking photos

and I just want to make sure that you're being mindful of taking as many photos as

possible make sure that the light is in front of you and not behind you the mindful

of your poses don't cover and yourself in terms of the the middle and just

have one of my colleagues at this last Matchmaker Alliance conference one of my colleagues Ali's did a

whole presentation about the psychology of you know how to pose properly in the things

that you shouldn't do like hide your hands no hands in the pocket don't put

any barrier between yourself and the camera because all of the those send messages of

insecurity and or untrustworthiness women need to smile make sure that you're smiling men can get away with

not smiling try to figure out what your best side is or you know there's

just so many little things that go into it I do have a recording of yesterday's conversation with these two

New York City photographers if you want to get access to that I will give you an option to

do that at the end of this conversation but anyway I don't want to belabor

the point it's just so important to have great photos now once you take a bunch of

photos over the next month right in preparation for this relaunch of your online line profile

what you want to do is get yourself a committee of friends that are kind

but honest friends or family to help you choose these photos I know I've said this before

and I'll say it again we are not good at using the photos that look best for us

right like the way we view ourselves in the way other people view US is very different

there is a study about this if you want that information just reach out to me and

I will send it to you but trust me when I tell you we're not good

at using our own photos so you want other people to help you make that choice just make sure that

these are people who are honest loving and caring like my daughter who would tell me in a heartbeat

mom take that photo down if it looks terrible so that is really important and the other thing I

want to say is when you take these photos make sure that their photos of just you don't

take photos with your friends because then you know if your friends are better looking sometimes

that happens or or people looking at you online and they are trying to figure out who is the

person that I should be looking at so just take photos of yourself so once you

get your photo done make sure that you do a revamp of your online profile the verbage that's in

there keep it positive remember this is a marketing tool and so what you want to

do is keep all negativity off of your online dating profiles you'll have plenty of time to vet people

and figure things out once you're having conversations with but while you're marketing yourself you

know you don't polarize well to some degree you can there's some things in your

profile that you're going to go in to identify like age range ethnicity all this kind of

stuff that people will self-select and filter out but in terms of your about me

that should all be positive and one one thing I failed to say about the photos make sure that

you're adding captions to all of your photos because what you want to do is offer in each photo

when it was taken the location you know whatever explain what's going on in this photo

because it also then creates a prompt for someone to reach out to you and say hey that picture of

you climbing a wall or doing whatever it was you were doing that could be a prompt for someone

to reach out because remember it's sometimes challenging for people to know like how do I approach

right instead of the same old high or well you're beautiful and stuff like that no

focus on something on the profile but at the same time the people were putting profiles out there

should really give prompt so that people know how to approach them so that's the captions the only thing I

want to mention is if you can handle it try to sign up for more than one app

now it could be that you do one that's a paid app because that's going to bring

in a different caliber of people that are more committed and they're paying and maybe do

a free app you can do up to three if you can reasonably handle it and you're going to stay

on top of it remember this is not for the rest of your life this is

a short-term time investment for you to really put on the campaign and try to you know attract the

right partner and then you're off the app so this is not forever right so

if you can do up to three apps if you can't then do too and if you can do to

just do one right because the key is is if you're going to use the app

make sure you stay on top of it and you're not ignoring you know people sending

messages to you you're not responding Etc because the algorithm will punish you for that it'll look at your

profile as a dormant profile so you want to make sure that you're responding and I would say respond quickly

right because in this particular timeframe remember people doing these New Year's resolutions they want to

meet someone they want to find love for 2023 and so everybody's jumping on and everyone's in

that energy and so you need to ride the wave and so if you start to be busy or

ignore people play hard to get and you know play head games you're going to miss out

on the gems that are out there and available for you and the the very important

thing that I highly recommend and this is something that became very popular over covid and you know I really

highly recommend that people continue to do these video dates so I call those a

zero date that's you know a term that I didn't coin certainly but a zero date is basically meeting

someone over video just to even assess if there's any you know I don't want to say

chemistry because that is not the right word because chemistry can only happen between two people in

the same room as far as I'm concerned you can you know chemistry involves you know

your olfactory visually listening to someone you know being in proximity there's all these other things

that you need to be in the same room for to assess chemistry but at the very

least a video day gives you the knowledge of whether or not this person is who they

say they are in terms of what they look like maybe you can have some

preliminary conversation and just to assess that they don't totally report a repulsed you right and

then you can plan out date while you're on a video call because then you save a lot of time

energy and money not having to show up to meet someone who is not who they say

they are they they lied on their profile Etc so try to do that zero

date as soon as possible and then try to meet in London real person you know real time

and you know on a date after that video date within two weeks if not you know sooner

than two weeks because again there's you know I've said this before anybody who follows me knows that

there is a study out there that shows that if you wait more than two weeks to

meet someone the likelihood of you actually even finding them attractive or even just your

your outlook or towards that person who's going to change because we as human beings start to build castles

in the skies and ideas in our heads about people and then when you meet them they

turn out to be different and so you want to avoid that so this is what I wanted to

share with you today it is super important to start prepping now taking all those photos as many photos

as you can over the holidays around when you're with family Etc where you're you

know when you're happy and you're having fun you're going to look like you're having fun and that

you're happy right so take advantage of these happy moments that you're going to be going through hopefully

with you know over the holidays and then use that as your new photos for your online dating

profiles make sure that you launched it around January 1st so that you are in as a new

revised profile maybe you're using a new app so that Muniz is going to be rewarded by the

algorithm and then you'll be good to go because look if you aren't online dater

this is what needs to happen now if you are someone who is absolutely not interested whatsoever

on using an online dating platforms I want to encourage you to reach out we have a

database that you can join at any connections.com /join Dash now and you'll be able to

join for absolutely free or if you want to hire us we can schedule a conversation and

this is a great time again to start with the Matchmaker and by the way if

you're working with a Matchmaker you still need those great photos we typically will send our clients to

get a professional photo shoot because was the only way for us to Market you with other singles or to

even introduce you to other matchmakers clients is to have great images we work very similar to the real estate

industry where you have a buyer I have a seller in our case you know you have a woman

or man or two men or two women it regardless it's all kinds of matchmaking going on but oftentimes

we have to show a good image and you'd be surprised the horrific images that

people submit on these profiles when they submit their applications with us so if you're not interested

at all to use online dating platforms feel free to reach out join our free database or we can have

a conversation about you working with us and then of course if you're interested in yesterday's

love experts or I should say experts Q&A session because we had two photographers you can access that by becoming

a member of the get real get love coaching platform and that price is going

up and January so if you're going to join Now's the Time to do it

it's $8 a month I know that's ridiculous but it's going to go up significantly so take advantage of

it because after January you won't be able to go back to that price point and that's what

I have for you today I'm so happy to be back and I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday

season and we'll see you next week and hopefully you'll be back by 2:00 pm Eastern Standard Time

here Wednesday as always until then remember everyone deserves to love and be loved bye for now